Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A Week Later...

Good evening, everyone. :)

So, I know it's been a week since I last updated. A lot has happened. I'll go through bit by bit.

First, I binged like a mother fucker. Well, not really. But I ate a little more than a normal person, which to me is like a binge. Anyways. Then I actually purged on the third day (thursday? idk.) And then after that I had a peanut butter sandwich with chocolate chips, and hot cocoa. So it was counterproductive anyways.

Sunday I had a crap ton of candy, four donuts, some weird bacon-egg-cheese wrap thing.. etc.

Since Monday I've been on something that's basically the Cabbage Soup Diet, except you only eat the soup on the last day. So Monday was all fruits. Yesterday was all veggies. Today has been all fruits and veggies. Tomorrow will be bananas and yogurt/milk. Etc.

I haven't been diehard with this diet. Yesterday I had two mini chocolate bars and some puppy chow. Today I had a reese's cup. Monday and yesterday I had sugarfree jello (like 20 cals worth). But I also worked out Monday and yesterday, averaging 350-400 each day, with cardio and strength training. My mom and I joined planet fitness. So much better than Gold's.

So yeah. Monday I was.. idk. I think 134.something. I didn't weigh myself first thing. This morning I was 130.2. Fuck yeah. It's not as low as earlier, but I'm getting there.

I have a high school dance in a week and a half. Don't have a date yet. I was going to ask this girl I really like, who's my friend (yes kids, Sparks is bi) but then I chickened out because we both like each other, but I don't really want a relationship right now. Because I'm a basketcase, as y'all well know.

OKAY. So more important news.

One of my good friends at school, who we shall call... Padfoot. Because that's what she's on as my iMessage contact. lol. ANYWAYS.

So Padfoot has EDNOS, though I'm pretty sure it's a lot closer now to anorexia than anything else. She's got it pretty bad. She's.. idk. 5', 5'1"... maybe 5'2". Today (in the afternoon, probably plus food/water weight) she weighed in at 93.5 at the doctor's. She's down 3.5 pounds from her visit two weeks ago, even though she's been eating more.

So now she's going to outpatient treatment at the local hospital. I'm very worried about her, but I'm also relieved; she's so thin, and so sick, I think it'll be good for her. I just really, really hope that she gets that being skinny will never be enough, will never make her happy.

God, I'm such a fucking hypocrite.

So yeah. Super stressed, super worried. But I think she'll be okay. I hope she will, anyways.

Uhh.. I think that's it.

Yeah, that's it.

I'll keep you guys posted.

Peace, Love, & Skinny.

> Sparks <

1 comment:

  1. hey sparks! (i like your name). thanks for your comment! i do force myself to report everything, because i'm just sick of lying. i need a place to empty out my mind ya know? plus, since i know that people are reading, it's that much more motivating to avoid the binges. but yeah. enough about me. i hope you'll find a way to get out of bingeing hell soon. it's the worse. good luck to you and your friend!