Wheeeeeeelllp. That was a good day, in theory. Too bad this is reality.
I was actually doing pretty well today. 262 consumed, not my favorite number, but easily salvaged by a bowl of broth and maybe some bread.
Buuuuuut then my father brought home chinese takeout.
Now, let me tell you something about chinese takeout. It isn't food. It's stir-fried calories and lard. It doesn't digest and give you energy. It sits in your belly and crawls through your intestines and rots. The end.
So, I told my father that I'd just have some soup since I was feeling sick. An easy 10-calorie fake-out, right?
So then my ex tells me that a few days ago when he asked what was up, and I told him I was blogging, he went and searched and found this blog.
what. the. fuck. am i. supposed. to do. with. that.
I mean, obviously I can't just shrug it off and lie. He obviously knows. Maybe I should just delete this blog and start fresh. idk. I don't have any followers here anyways.
So, he brings it up, and with that mixed with my mom intercepting an e-mail that pretty much means she's going to get fired in two weeks from the job she worked her ass off getting, I got really fucking emotional. And I ate.
Rangoon and lo mein and deep fried sweet and sour pork and steamed dumplings and shit shit shit. like fuck. I'm a fucking vegetarian. I don't fucking eat pork or dumplings. fuck.
So now I'm sitting here. It's been like two, three hours, and I already feel bloated and greasy as fuck. Like, really? The fuck is this?
fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuucccckkkkk.
So yeah. Not sure what to do about the ex. Maybe I should just ignore him until he butts out. idk. He's depressed right now, so that would be a cruel thing to do, especially since he was there for me for almost two years and didn't run off when I was depressed.
Maybe I shouldn't even post about this. The only person aside from me who's read this is.. heh. Him. Greeeeeat.
Dis shit cray.
I'll do better tomorrow. Maybe I'll fast. I haven't decided yet.
Still no cutting, and no purging. Score one and two for Sparkies.
> Sparks <